Every cell of you
Contains my love
As it always will
Each moment of your life
I have assessed my role

In front of you
As you were learning to walk
Beside you
As you walked confidently
And later, traveling with you
As you mapped a path less taken

If the tide were to have words,
I imagine it responding to retreat
Release release release
And advance
Reach reach reach

When you were small
I rushed the shore
Sometimes in excess
Of what may have made sense
Even to those quite close

Our high tide flooded conventions
And other people’s comforts
But met what I sensed
Was your need

I listened and acted
Not according to me
But according to you

When you were bigger
Even in that moment
Of stasis before the retreat
I acted differently than advised
Responding to what I perceived
Were your needs
To hear and be heard
To see and be seen
To live and be loved

In that perfect breath
Between advance and retreat
We gathered our shields
And separated from the world
Traveling, discovering
Following our own plan

Until you set the tone
For the initial retreat chapter
Of a lowering tide
A tone that differed
With each address
And each addressee
With each destination
And estimated arrival

Tones that rejected me
Replacing our history
With stories to suit
Your new reality
And burgeoning self

Each story fit differently
When it made its way
Out of the tailor
And onto me
None bespoke
For they were yours

The concept of us
I slowly realized
Would continue to shift
Never constant
Continuing into tomorrow

I tried to surrender
To the new you
To each new you
As they manifested
Like pools revealed
By retreating tides

New stories emerged
At every turn
Some flattered me more
Some flattered me less

All the while
There was a knowing
That clock or no clock
Calendar or no calendar
Despite your unique schedule
The retreat would continue

We saw it happening
But the inevitability of the tide
Didn’t affect our belief
That maybe you were different
And maybe I was too

We have always been unique
And close
And cared so much

From the very beginning
You were the first person
To love me that much
And I was the first
To love you that much

Alas, the tide’s power
Is wiser, deeper
And more profound
Than we

Defined by epic elements
Moon’s gravitational pull
Earth’s rotational force
Exponentially exceeding both of us

So, too, your growth
Is beyond me
Like arrow from bow
Your flight path and distance
Exceed me in exponents

You may feel neglected
Or hurt or misunderstood
You may mourn
The closeness we once shared
You may sense that then
I really did understand

But I am telling you this now:
All I was doing was listening
Praying, hoping, trying
Wondering if I got it right

No one ever told me
If I did
Even if you tried
I still do not know
If I did it right
Or even well enough

What is the right answer?
What does she want to hear?
These questions create
The architecture of my entire life
(Two shes, two sides)

I never doubted you
But I doubt myself

I never questioned your brilliance
But I question my own
I see your magnificence
And bend myself to accommodate it
To assist its actualization
To get you to the shoreline

So that you can swim
Or fly, or join your flock
Or simply decide
For yourself
Who you are
What you want
And how you will do it

For here is the nucleus of the nucleus
The center that holds:
It is only ever you
It is only ever me

Here is the truth of the truth:
It is only ever our selves
On our flight path

Always Guided, I believe
Receiving gifts at times

But it is only ever thus:
What you feel from me
Is nothing other
Than what you fear or embrace
Depending on the day

What you see in me
Is nothing other
Than my love for you

As well as my desperate need
To set you free

As there is no mandate
More elemental
For a mama
Than to be certain
Her baby can survive

In the wild

With so much love

h/t to ee cummings for truth of the truth and Kahlil Gibran for arrow and bow