Where I End & She Begins

a parenting journey from attachment to non-attachment

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Poem: Beginning, Middle, End

August 11, 2010December 4, 2016 / Cressey / Leave a comment

You are my beginning My ray of light The first to breathe Say “Mama” And whisper “I love you” To hold and be held With you, I learn From you, I study Beside you, I discover Glancing at the path ahead As my first growing child You receive The mirror you need to grow You … Continue reading Poem: Beginning, Middle, End

Love, Santa

December 24, 2007December 24, 2016 / Cressey / 6 Comments

From the Memoir. Christmastime 2007 Among the piles of notes on my desk was an errand list, itemized by store. We needed a rake from Home Depot, olive oil from Costco, and from the grocery store—in different handwriting—we needed a dog. I asked G about it. “Mama, I think we should have two houses, attached to … Continue reading Love, Santa

Overcoming Fear

May 6, 2007December 4, 2016 / Cressey / Leave a comment

“Mirabel [the dolly] is afwaid to ride hea bike.” “What do you say to her?” “O. Ver. Come. Yoa. Fea.” Overcome your fear. One Sunday night in May, G and I read stories as usual, but when she started to nurse, it felt painful to me. I was gritting my teeth. Unpremeditated words tumbled out of … Continue reading Overcoming Fear

Game: Wild Kitty Zone > Yellow Light

December 7, 2006December 5, 2016 / Cressey / Leave a comment

… a place where words can run free Why: Learn to release pain, frustration, and other difficult emotions in a safe way. Releasing is step one for letting go. Understand and build restraint. Honor child’s words and feelings even if they’re unpolished. Guidelines: It’s ok to have strong feelings. Use your words. Play only with … Continue reading Game: Wild Kitty Zone > Yellow Light

Game/Craft: Beading Tray

November 23, 2006December 5, 2016 / Cressey / 1 Comment

Provides ceaseless entertainment. Children of all ages find it. Often this is a great warm-up for a playdate and future creativity. Alliances get made; negotiations happen; comfort is established while all focus is on the tray. (It always surprised me how much mileage we got out of this accidental concept. One day I just put out … Continue reading Game/Craft: Beading Tray

Craft: Basic Animal Costumes

November 6, 2006December 5, 2016 / Cressey / 1 Comment

Called “basic” for a reason, these are sweetened clothes. A hoodie-set or an old turtleneck transformed with a bit of fabric. Simple to make, easy to wash, gentle on the pocket-book, and transformative for the imagination. Ingredients: Hooded sweatsuit or fleece set (top and pants) or matching long t-shirt and pants in an appropriate backdrop … Continue reading Craft: Basic Animal Costumes

Craft: Magic Tray

October 11, 2006December 5, 2016 / Cressey / 1 Comment

This white tray was worth its weight in gold. Its morning project created the motivation needed to hop out of bed (and not nurse)! Sort of like Crafty Santa each morning. Ingredients: A large tray, preferably white or a solid color to offset the project... plus basics near the tray everyday: Colored pens or pencils Pencil … Continue reading Craft: Magic Tray

Finding the Roots

October 10, 2006December 4, 2016 / Cressey / Leave a comment

I started visualizing G's emotional releases like pulling weeds. Carefully taking hold of her focus, trying to find the stem cause, and then teasing it out to see if we could get access to the deepest roots. Not only were we working on the issue at hand, we were also making space for sunlight to hit … Continue reading Finding the Roots

Craft: Love Pocket

September 13, 2006December 5, 2016 / Cressey / 1 Comment

The love pocket partly because it tangibly represents “where I end and she begins.” Letting go to say goodbye for camp or daycare or preschool, a note or photo in a special pocket reminds your sweetheart of you in your absence.  Especially helpful for dresses or outfits without pockets, this pocket attaches to anything (with … Continue reading Craft: Love Pocket

Braving Preschool

September 12, 2006December 4, 2016 / Cressey / Leave a comment

The day before preschool started, we played at home, close to each other, sewing, beading, painting, glitter-gluing, talking, and having lunch, never more than twenty feet apart. Blue skies and a cool autumn breezes called us to our favorite park. G went straight to something she had never tried before: the fireman’s pole. “How do I … Continue reading Braving Preschool

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Welcome!

Hope you will join me as I share my unexpected, mystical, utterly imperfect travels in parenting from a late-term miscarriage through to raising a young adult. To start, you may want to check out my first blog entry. To get deeper into the early years, see selected memoir chapters. Lighter bits include: crafts, games, poetry, and more on my story. My mission is offer our experience as a friend, resource, and fellow traveller on this intrepid and sometimes lonely—but always enriching—journey.

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