Part of my parenting role now is careful, considered detachment. There are books upon books about attachment, but the reality is a lot of that comes naturally. Sure, it’s exhausting, and you don’t always know if you’re doing it right, but instinct typically is your friend. When someone cries, it's innate to reach out and console. … Continue reading Parenting with a Magic 8 Ball
New Years & Counting Down
After I had a cerclage surgery in September 2001, the OB said I needed to be on strict bedrest for the rest of the term. That meant six months of lying down. We promptly made a countdown calendar that X printed and put up on the bulletin board next to my bed. (Photo below). When G … Continue reading New Years & Counting Down
Acts of Generosity
After George Michael died, many sources revealed his bountiful charitable giving; the only condition for much of his generosity was anonymity. Articles also mentioned his struggle with depression. I read aloud some examples of his philanthropy and was surprised to see G get really upset. “He didn’t want people to know about it. Why can’t … Continue reading Acts of Generosity
Roadblocks in Parenting Solo (or Missing X)
Five years ago legally (eight years spiritually), our marriage ended. But regardless of how you count it, our parenting experience was not dramatically affected. I have notes from a few days into our “new normal” when G said, “Mama, I have the music on loud.” “Yes?” “And I’m bouncing the big ball against the door.” “Yes.” “Am … Continue reading Roadblocks in Parenting Solo (or Missing X)
Hugging an armful of sand
Loving a teenager, I’ve decided, is like hugging an armful of sand. Try though I may, it’s impossible to gather all of that sand, and even if I could, I can’t hold onto it—even for a moment. It was a joke at first when I said, “I’ve done attachment, now I need to do detachment.” … Continue reading Hugging an armful of sand
There is a box…
A flower and not a flower; Of mist and yet not of mist; At midnight he was there; He went as daylight shone. He came, and for a little while Was like a dream of spring. And then, As morning clouds that vanish traceless, He was gone. - Po Chü There is a box in … Continue reading There is a box…
Craft: Decorating quotes
One of my favorite things is finding a quote that harmonizes with my thinking, and taking time to be with it. That often means decorating it somehow, so that I wind up spending several minutes, hours, or days with it, and then having it in our space. Here are a few examples. Two are pen/pencil … Continue reading Craft: Decorating quotes
Poem: On Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving Always a bittersweet time for me Once a favorite for its honesty Family, nourishment, time together, stores closed No presents, little commerce, no pretense But then… dad got sick and turkey didn’t seem so good He left us before the weekend was out And nothing was ever the same again Thanksgiving became shadowed in … Continue reading Poem: On Thanksgiving
Craft: On the best self
From my last post, you will know that I'm working on these certain ideals of selfhood. I decided to find images for each ideal and capture them both on film and around the house, as points of reminder. Here they are: And then I strung all of the words together and got a bit carried … Continue reading Craft: On the best self
What Motivated Me
Yesterday, I attended a writing workshop with the author, Elizabeth Berg. Among the many pieces of wisdom she imparted, she added: put it out there. Write, and then share. For the workshop I wrote the following piece. *** Following the church spire, I drive and then walk around Wakefield, Massachusetts, first settled in 1638, a … Continue reading What Motivated Me
Where I End & She Begins 