This weekend I was planning on going to Kripalu, up the street, where the David Whyte was conducting a retreat. One of my favorite poets, his topic was “Compass Points: Setting Direction for a Future Life” (something I could use), but to me, his best work is “The House of Belonging.” When I realized this … Continue reading On Justice & Belonging
Keep the Change
Packing and preparing to head back up north, my head and heart are struggling to catch up. When I look through my notes, I am stunned at how much has happened during these past almost-nine months. I am not a good mover. I am not great with change. But I seem to reap enormous rewards … Continue reading Keep the Change
By the Shining Waters
Back in Brooklyn, in rising heat and humidity, I reflect on our recent time near the edge of Lake Ontario. A benign accident led us all to the greater Rochester area for G to take a dance intensive. Every day we drove forty minutes from the lake to SUNY Brockport, switched drivers, and I returned … Continue reading By the Shining Waters
Finding Movement
I write to find out what I’m thinking. What I’m looking at, what I see and what it means. What I want and what I fear. Joan Didion “You have your words,” G said last summer. She’s right. Most of my writing is silently, unabashedly, purely for me; pen and paper are my best friends. … Continue reading Finding Movement
Brooklyn Bridge
A few days into the new normal of our life in NYC, G had settled into her routine, and I had painted the apartment walls back to white (from cerulean blue in the kitchen and black in the bathroom), installed curtains, and learned how to do laundry and where to find our groceries. How and … Continue reading Brooklyn Bridge
The Fire, and Home
If you had to leave your home in the middle of the night, under duress, what would you take with you? What arcane things might you include? What important items might you forget? These questions have been haunting me lately as they recently befell thousands of people in my hometown when fires swept through huge … Continue reading The Fire, and Home
Year by the Sea, or Life Imitating Art
“The decision to separate seemed to happen overnight.” So begins Joan Anderson’s A Year By the Sea, a book that I found on a cold January morning in 2008 at the Northampton, Massachusetts transfer station. After dumping our recyclables and landfill contributions, I took a peek into the tiny shack overflowing with books and household … Continue reading Year by the Sea, or Life Imitating Art
Three years ago…
Dear Moms, Three years ago we had our last conversation. I was so tired, having driven from Massachusetts to Michigan in one day, but I knew beyond knowing that I wanted to hear your voice. I had no idea it would be our last conversation. We didn’t talk long. You didn’t seem to want me … Continue reading Three years ago…
La La Love & Dreams
[Please note: there is some discussion below of La La Land's ending—spoiler alert] Before she left for summer break, G and I watched La La Land. The first time for her, the second for me. Once again it brought up a jumble of emotions. I remember coming home from the theatre, taking a strong drink … Continue reading La La Love & Dreams
The Other Side of the Coin
One of the byproducts of attachment parenting the way we practiced it —without bottles or pumps—is that feeding delivered not only nutrition but also comfort. By its nature, breastfeeding enhances attachment. I have no virtual reality in which we can replay the past to see if X would have felt closer to G as a little … Continue reading The Other Side of the Coin
Where I End & She Begins 