The day before preschool started, we played at home, close to each other, sewing, beading, painting, glitter-gluing, talking, and having lunch, never more than twenty feet apart. Blue skies and a cool autumn breezes called us to our favorite park. G went straight to something she had never tried before: the fireman’s pole. “How do I … Continue reading Braving Preschool
Reflections
Guard Baby
Could G possibly remember her journey to us? Did her incarnation knock twice? One day when she was about three, she said, “All da childwen aememba.” All the children remember. I held her as she sobbed, “I waited a long time to get in!” Later she said, “It took so long, Mama, in youa belly.” A few days … Continue reading Guard Baby
Mysteries
One Saturday night, we went out to a Hibachi-style dinner where individual chefs put on a cooking spectacle—with food, drink, and fire—in front of a table of twelve. The large room had several such tables, and while we waited for our show to begin, we watched a nearby cooking surface burst into controlled flames. G started … Continue reading Mysteries
Octopus Brain
Octopus brain was what I called my new mother-mind. After G was born, my brain patterns seemed to be completely different. Once singular or dual in focus, now I had neurons firing in multiple directions, reminding me of an octopus with a piece of brain on each tentacle. Did one part of my brain know what … Continue reading Octopus Brain
Echoes
Another story ran parallel with our present. Where was I at this age? How did I feel? What curative powers were there from this place of observation? Was I really “not a cuddly baby” as my mother put it? Why did I need to protect myself, so young? Was there really a psychological perspective from … Continue reading Echoes
Dentistry
It surprised me our pediatrician did not tell us to schedule a first dental checkup, but when a friend mentioned it should happen around eighteen months, I realized no one had ever looked in G's mouth except us. With only one pediatric dentist in our community, there was no choice of practitioner. We took her in, … Continue reading Dentistry
Being
Birth to adolescence takes about ten years, more or less. Long before she arrived I knew the early parenting years were fleeting. I vowed to appreciate these years. I didn’t want to wish for more after it was over. Admiring her smiles, playing with little hands and feet, staring into each other’s eyes. Time had … Continue reading Being
Sleep, take 1
We bought a crib on September 10, 2001. After watching our nation’s tragedy the next morning, we turned off the news and quietly began to build the crib, as if rebuilding our belief in the future. We did not know if our baby was going to be a boy or girl, but we were certain … Continue reading Sleep, take 1
Discovery
At the beginning of my first pregnancy, I went straight to the library to read about it. Books lined my desk as I studied about gestational development and healthy habits for pregnant moms. I got references on doulas, birthing classes, and mommy-and-me infancy groups. I interviewed, bought products, and believed I had it figured out. … Continue reading Discovery
Deliverance
We went to see the perinatologist in the middle of week thirty-six. Sure enough, our baby girl had wiggled, and she was head-down for our final ultrasound. The peri’s parting words were: “Get up. You can’t swim enough! We need you to get strong so you can look after your baby.” On Saturday, March 2nd (thirty-seven … Continue reading Deliverance
Where I End & She Begins 