Thanksgiving
Always a bittersweet time for me
Once a favorite for its honesty
Family, nourishment, time together, stores closed
No presents, little commerce, no pretense
But then… dad got sick and turkey didn’t seem so good
He left us before the weekend was out
And nothing was ever the same again
Thanksgiving became shadowed in other people’s families
Fear of travel, fear of loss
A need to put on a happy face

I realize now it’s been half my life I’ve felt this way
How could it be?
He’s been gone almost half my life
Half my life, missing him
Feeling this emptiness where he once stood
It doesn’t feel possible
Unless we are but trees
He is in my roots, my trunk, my early branches
Though now I am a great full oak of my own
It is my roots, trunk, and early branches
That define me, hold me stable, connect me
It’s the only way
Because it’s not possible that half of me
Is absent him

Before this day closes, I want to say
Thank you for my roots, my trunk, my early branches
Thank you, too, for those who have loved and tended to my later growth
Another family, another last name that I have carried for half my life
Thank you to my first love for helping me discover my independence
To the two angels who chose me as a mother
One who stays in the heavens
And the other who climbs my limbs, swings from my branches
And often now seeks different places to play

Thank you to my friends and family
Around the country and around the world
Who offer me sustenance
Who help me believe in myself
When I cannot see the dawn approaching

Thank you to my sweetest furry children
Who know when I need them
Who come close to my heart when I cry
Snuggle by my belly when I hurt
Delight in my return when I leave

And thank you for the beauty around us
The fresh air, clear water, bountiful food
Thank you for the moments of kindness I receive
In the most uncommon of places
At the most unexpected of moments
Thank you, above all, for allowing me to know what it means to be loved
And carry that knowledge with me each day
Down to the invisible filaments
Holding me to this earth